You’re probably used to hearing about people talking about their happy ever after in movies. But in real life, that doesn’t seem to happen, right? It seems like every time you find someone in real life. Something happens that ruins everything. You see so many people that you think of as potential partners throughout your life, but something always seems to get between you.
Because of all these failed relationships, people have started to believe that there is no way they could ever find someone to spend their life is. But that’s not the case. The idea of happily ever after is more about your mindset than being influenced by externalities. If you romanticize this concept, you will set yourself up for failure.
If you believe that happily ever after only happens when you meet your soulmate, you will end up disappointed. But having a happily ever after isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. It’s about being able to find someone that you want to fight for through thick and thin. Just because media frames the concept in a fair-tale way, it doesn’t mean you should too.
How To Control The Happily Ever After Mindset
You have control over how you frame it for yourself. For some, happily ever after might not even include a partner. For others, it’s about finding that one person who will stick by your side even when things are hard. But no matter how you want to define it, it’s still something you have control over.
1. Be Proactive In Seeking Your Happily Ever After
Happily ever after is not something that falls from the sky. No matter how much you might be told that your Prince Charming will show up out of nowhere, that doesn’t happen in reality. You won’t just bump into your perfect match while in line at the grocery store. And if you don’t do something proactive to find that happiness, it won’t just come to you.
To find happiness and love, you need to be proactive. You need to put yourself out there and be open to finding love. Of course, you will fail a few times before finding the right person, but that’s part of the journey. Still, as long as you remain passive and you lock yourself in the house, you won’t find reasons for happiness. You need to go out and meet like-minded people.
Be social, talk to people, make an effort to get to know them. Don’t just dismiss them because they don’t seem perfect at first glance. In reality, the best partner for you isn’t even the one who seems perfect. There isn’t even such a thing as being perfect. The best partner is someone you can communicate with openly and who will understand you no matter what.
If you put yourself out there, you increase your chances of finding true happiness. That’s how you take control of your life; by giving yourself opportunities to succeed. Opportunities don’t create themselves. You have to get out there and seize them.
2. Let Go Of Preconceived Notions About What Happily Ever After Looks Like
You probably already know that everyone has a type when it comes to love and dating. You probably have a type yourself. When you go to a club, intending to meet people, there is always one type of person who catches your eye, while you ignore everyone else. This is even more obvious when you sign up on a dating sign. Be honest, how often have you swiped someone right solely because of the pictures? And how many times did you swipe because of the bio, or at least consider it?
The honest answer is that you mainly look at the pictures. But think about the impact of having preconceived notions. Just imagine how many people you have dismissed just because they didn’t quite look right. Or even if you didn’t ignore them because of looks, you probably dismissed them because of how they talk or where they work.
If you want to be in control of what your happily ever after looks like, you need to let go of rigid preconceptions. Of course, it’s perfectly ok not to want to date someone violent, for example. But you shouldn’t exclude people because they don’t have blue eyes or blonde hair. If you become more open-minded, allow yourself to be surprised by people. And even if you don’t end up meeting your soulmate, you will still meet people who will make your life better.
No matter how easy relationships might seem in stories, they are never that easy in reality. You won’t just be on the same page as your partner no matter what. You won’t always have the same views, wants, and needs. And, most importantly, you will never be able to read each other’s minds. Maybe you will find the most amazing person ever. But if you don’t know how to communicate with them, you won’t get your happily ever after.
If you want to live a happy life, you need to meet your needs. But it would help if you also learned to give. And there’s no way you can give your partner what they truly need if you don’t listen to them. You might think that giving them space is something you should always do in a relationship. But some people don’t want that space all the time.
Sometimes they need to have you around more. And the same goes for you and your needs. Maybe they think that surprising you with a pet is a charming gesture, but that might not be what you want. Even if you act objectively correct, that doesn’t mean you are good to each other. If you don’t communicate on every vital topic and don’t set boundaries and needs, your relationship won’t be strong.
But you can always control how openly you communicate. You always have the choice to start a conversation, to share your needs and issues. And if your partner doesn’t reciprocate, that means they’re not the right one for you.
4. Be Present As You Seek Happily Ever After
If you want to get your happily ever after, you can’t waste all your life waiting for it. To control your life and happiness, you need to live in the moment. The present is the time that gives you joy and opportunities. It allows you to grow and live. If you get stuck in the past or think about the future, you will miss all the wonders that life can offer you. And you will miss your opportunity to meet the right person for you.
Living happily ever after always seems like something that will happen in the past. But you can be happily ever after now. You can choose to take every day in stride and enjoy every little moment of happiness. You can be happily ever after even without a partner. If you decide that your present is your moment to shine, that’s when your life will become happier. Of course, you can still set intentions for the future and have goals.
But that doesn’t mean you should condition your happiness on those goals. If you don’t find someone soon, that doesn’t mean you are not worthy of love or having a good life. And the present is the thing you have the most control over. Sure, specific actions will influence your future, but it’s still uncertain. The only certainty you have is the present, and you should always focus on it. The happier you are now, the more comfortable you can be in the future.
5. Love Yourself Until You Meet That Special Someone
Because life can be so uncertain, you should never base your happiness on someone or something else. Sure, finding another person to share your life with is very nice. Having someone by your side feels comforting. But the only certainty you have is yourself. You will always have yourself, and you will always seek happiness on the inside. Sometimes, happily ever after means loving yourself unconditionally and being content with your past.
Many people struggle with low self-esteem mental health issues. If you are, too, it’s a sign you need to put yourself first. True happiness can only be found if you love yourself. Otherwise, if you don’t fix your issues, your happiness will always depend on external factors. If you don’t like yourself, you won’t be happy unless you have someone making you feel better about yourself.
And when that person’s gone, you won’t be able to find any joy in your life. Plus, if you don’t love yourself, you won’t properly love someone else. It would be best if you took the time to reflect on your issues. Talk to people about what you’re going through, and do the work to better self-perception. Even go to therapy if you need help. Practice self-care whenever it’s possible.
Pamper yourself, take yourself out, get used to finding happiness even if you are alone. If you can do that, you will find your happily ever after.
Final Thoughts On Why Happily Ever After Is a Mindset We Control
Happily ever after is a concept that everyone strives towards. People want to be happy, they want to find true love, and they want to have the certainty that their future will be filled with joy. But, because of how it’s portrayed in media, most people don’t believe they can ever achieve it.
How could they ever have a life that has no problems, in which everything is rainbow and sunshine? Well, you don’t need to have a problem-free life to find your happily ever after. Happily ever after is simply a mindset that you have complete control over. It’s a subjective matter that can mean anything, depending on how you frame it. For some, it means being alone but content with yourself. For others, it’s starting a family and having a life partner.
And you can control your happily ever after if you put your mind to it. Be proactive and search for opportunities. Let go of expectations and preconceived notions. Learn to communicate with the people in your life. And, most importantly, learn to love yourself.
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